The #1 Thing to Do to Get Over Any Fear

If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be paragliding this summer I would have said they were crazy. I don't do heights. Period. The idea of jumping from a plane, or off a cliff, or sailing through the air sounds lovely, but anyone with a fear of heights will tell you it just isn't going to happen. Looking out a tall building, standing at the top of a mountain, climbing tall stairs to a waterside, are all things I don't do well. I get nervous and nauseous and sometimes panicky.

Fast forward to this August. I'm laying in my hotel room one beautiful sunny Utah morning when my dear friend texts me at 6am to tell me her lesson has been cancelled and I won't be able to watch her paraglide after all. I texted her back with an agreement to meet for tea instead, and said I'd be going back to sleep until then. 

I'm laying in bed and find myself growing increasingly nervous. My heart is racing. My gut feels a bit achy. And I can't get back to sleep. Ugh. What am I nervous about? Today is a day I do every year: the first day of my annual company convention. I love this day and I look forward to it all year. There is absolutely nothing to be nervous or anxious about. What in the world is going on? I'm tossing and turning. I open my eyes and see my iPhone flashing. Hmm, maybe I should check who's texting me this early in the morning. It's my friend. 

Her text goes like this: 

"KIMBERLEY!!! WAKE UP!!!

want to go on a tandem? (paragliding)

He says he will fly you at 8 am before his other tandems.

Wake up wake up wake up

:-) "

So here's my response:

 "What? I'm not so sure!

 That's crazy. I'm not really a date devil." (of course I meant 'dare' devil) or (damn you autocorrect!)

"Tandems are super safe"

"Like how safe????"

"You don't have to decide now."

"SUPER safe"

(time laps)

"Ok. I'll get ready"…

"See you soon!"

 "OMG"

So here's what was going on for me behind the scenes. Now my nervousness made sense. It was as if my body knew what was coming before I did! I left my sleeping roommate and went into the bathroom to gather my thoughts and get dressed. I've heard of muscle testing before and how your body can tell you what it needs or likes before you know cognitively what it wants. So I stood in the bathroom and asked myself if going paragliding was something that would be good for me. As my body clearly dropped forward I knew it was saying "YES!". So as my friend texted me again and said,

"Bring water"

"Will do. Just making a green smoothy and will go write my intention in a few."

I knew I was a yes, albeit a scary YES. I knew as I asked my body what it wanted, that it was time for me to face my fear of heights head on.  I considered texting one of my mentors to see if she felt it was a wise decision based on the fact that I have 3 kids and I was supposed to be registering for my Convention at that time.  I realized the most important person to make this decision was ME. I needed to make this choice for ME. It didn't matter what anyone else thought of my choice. This was a choice that was for my benefit and and I needed to make it. It was in making this decision that I realized how often I default to checking in with others before hand. Of course I value and appreciate all the wonderful mentors and sages I have in my life, that truly help to guide me forward with wisdom and grace and ease. Yet there are times when it is even more important for me to make the choice for me. No assistance. This was one of those times.

 As I wrote my intention in the hotel lobby, waiting for my friend to pick me up, I was nervous so I wrote from a place of how I wanted to be and feel. I wrote that I was balanced in my body and excited and profoundly calm in my being. I wrote that I was present to the nature around me, to my instructor, and to me. I wrote that I saw myself embracing new adventures, being cooperative, confident and fun. I wrote that I could hear myself laughing and feeling blessed and alive. I wrote that I left the mountain invigorated and that I attended the first day of my company’s convention in a state of bliss and deep contemplation about all things beautiful and amazing…that I would experience convention (and my business) through a lens of I CAN.  

 The process of making the decision and pushing past my fears, became a most profound experience for me: from my body knowing before I knew, from the muscle testing to writing a powerful intention, from driving to the paragliding site to jumping off the side of the mountain. This was an incredible soul defining moment for me. Every step of the way I trusted. I trusted my friend who knew the instructor. I trusted myself that I was making a powerful decision. I trusted the weather would be cooperative and just right for our jump. I trusted that I would be calm and would enjoy myself. I trusted that we would take off and land safely and that the parachute was in perfect condition. I trusted that this would be an experience I would live to share with my kids…that I would be able to tell them about the importance of facing our fears, and that the best way to face them is actually to DO the thing we fear most.

 As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…You must do the thing you cannot do."

 That's it! Just DO IT - as Nike says. Do the thing you fear most and you will gain confidence and courage. This has become my mantra in so many areas of my life and I truly gain strength and courage every time I face my fears head on. I'm not afraid of heights any more and this new liberation is prompting growth in many other areas of my life.

So here's to moving forward in life, by doing that which we fear most!

Kimberley